


falling

by vanimiel



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 17:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/751024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanimiel/pseuds/vanimiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Doubt is an illness that comes from knowledge." Gustave Flaubert, Memoirs of a Madman</p>
            </blockquote>





	falling

Sherlock Holmes does not have doubts.

He does not hesitate. He does not have second thoughts.

He does not rethink his plans. He doesn’t need to.

So why, as he confronts the most dangerous man in London, as he convinces him to kill himself, as he shakes his hand, as he knows exactly what is going to come later, his heartbeat still escalates? 

Why is it, then, as he’s standing on the edge of the hospital, as he’s giving that faux-tearful, lying speech to John, as he throws his cell phone away in favor of looking at the cold, hard cement far, far below, 

when he knows exactly what’s going to come later,

what-ifs keep sprouting in his mind.

He takes a step.

And in those fragile moments, between when his feet are firmly planted on the roof of St. Bart’s and when his spine is meant to snap on the sidewalk, when he is at the mercy of nothing but gravity, he thinks,

what if something goes _wrong._

__What if his bones really snap against the pavement._ _

__What if his real blood will soon cover the sidewalk._ _

__What if these are his last thoughts._ _

__John._ _

__Mrs. Hudson._ _

__Lestrade._ _

__Molly—_ _

__He wonders what it’s like to die,_ _

__and makes impact,_ _

__breathing, alive._ _

__As expected._ _

__Of course._ _

__Sherlock Holmes does not have doubts._ _


End file.
